My family thru caution to the wind a week ago and held the first ever (as far as we know) Rochte family reunion. We all survived! No one was shunned; no one was estranged; and, best of all, no one was harmed in the making of this reunion. The word on the street is the Rochte family cannot have a reunion because my mom's family is known for its dastardly deeds. Apparently we have mellowed a bit thru the years.
The event was sort of thrown together in a short period of time and I would certainly not recommend that anyone else do that. I have always heard that you should start at least one year out from the actual date of the reunion. That is probably not a bad idea but because we did ours so fast, it was easy to see the rabbit holes you can fall into during the process. So, I have decided to share these with you.
1). This is not a wedding reception. I know that sounds crazy. Of course you know that, but your subconscious does not. If you are my age you have planned or been involved in many weddings. That is how families are formed. The difference? With a reunion there is no happy couple. Just a bunch of kids with parents and grandparents. What does this mean? Don't think, "We are having a reunion for 100 people so we need a venue that accommodates that many." That is backwards. Instead, find out how many people plan on being there and subtract 10 (kids get sick, old people fall down, those in between stress out). Plan according to the final number! And, please note, nobody brings a gift and expects to get wined and dined. (In other words, no free meal.) Instead they bring a dish and a bottle of Merlot. Good! Now you see the difference. Get a head count first; then reserve a venue.
2). Pictures and Memories are what make a reunion special. Fortunately I remembered that over ten years ago I made a special Christmas present for my kids. It was a cookbook, but just not any cookbook. It had recipes plus pictures of family members and stories I remembered from my childhood. I had forgotten about it and I had to rescue it from an ancient computer, but I was able to restore it . And, I also made a 2nd edition which almost doubled the size of the original. It would be nice to have one of these for every branch of the family. If you start planning right now that could be possible. Something like that cook book will spark other memories from other family members. And don't think that your cousins, nieces, and nephews have seen all the old pics of their parents. You probably have some from high school that need to be revealed. And no one reveals better than a cousin you ran around with in high school and college.
3). Make sure everyone can picture themselves in the family tree. With no printed family pedigree chart at our fingertips we set out to make one in less than a month. When it was printed it was 20 some feet long. What a surprise! 2 - 8' tables and a 6' table later we had it displayed. Whew!! Last minute surprise. Everyone loved "finding themselves". I guess I didn't expect that because I have always mentally placed myself in the tree and I never realized there were many who never even thought about it. Lots of genealogy bugs were planted that day. How did we create this chart in such a short period of time? Messages sent at 3-4am. Gallons of midnight oil. When we put the tree out, we provided post it notes for corrections and additions. You can see the added notes in the picture of the tree. Great idea, just allow more time!
4). Make sure you honor those who are not with you for whatever reason. And make sure you get everyone there no matter the circumstance or age. We did this right. It was so worth it, not only for them but for all of us too. Enough said.
I could go on and on with lots of trivia, but I think this is enough to get anyone started on the right path.
Will we have another? Of course, and it will get better with each year until we reach a point where the teenagers of the family might actually want to be there. By the way, you might want to set up an area where teens and their cell phones can go and text each other. . . . . so they can get acquainted!
And thinking of cell phones. This was the first thing I have been to in a long, long, time where everyone didn't have their cell phones in their hands. We were too busy catching up with what's been going on. Well, except for the teenagers. I suppose there is a post somewhere about what to do with teenagers at a reunion. Or should they even be invited. They'll get the idea some day.
The event was sort of thrown together in a short period of time and I would certainly not recommend that anyone else do that. I have always heard that you should start at least one year out from the actual date of the reunion. That is probably not a bad idea but because we did ours so fast, it was easy to see the rabbit holes you can fall into during the process. So, I have decided to share these with you.
1). This is not a wedding reception. I know that sounds crazy. Of course you know that, but your subconscious does not. If you are my age you have planned or been involved in many weddings. That is how families are formed. The difference? With a reunion there is no happy couple. Just a bunch of kids with parents and grandparents. What does this mean? Don't think, "We are having a reunion for 100 people so we need a venue that accommodates that many." That is backwards. Instead, find out how many people plan on being there and subtract 10 (kids get sick, old people fall down, those in between stress out). Plan according to the final number! And, please note, nobody brings a gift and expects to get wined and dined. (In other words, no free meal.) Instead they bring a dish and a bottle of Merlot. Good! Now you see the difference. Get a head count first; then reserve a venue.
2). Pictures and Memories are what make a reunion special. Fortunately I remembered that over ten years ago I made a special Christmas present for my kids. It was a cookbook, but just not any cookbook. It had recipes plus pictures of family members and stories I remembered from my childhood. I had forgotten about it and I had to rescue it from an ancient computer, but I was able to restore it . And, I also made a 2nd edition which almost doubled the size of the original. It would be nice to have one of these for every branch of the family. If you start planning right now that could be possible. Something like that cook book will spark other memories from other family members. And don't think that your cousins, nieces, and nephews have seen all the old pics of their parents. You probably have some from high school that need to be revealed. And no one reveals better than a cousin you ran around with in high school and college.
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| Our 20+ foot pedigree chart!! |
4). Make sure you honor those who are not with you for whatever reason. And make sure you get everyone there no matter the circumstance or age. We did this right. It was so worth it, not only for them but for all of us too. Enough said.
I could go on and on with lots of trivia, but I think this is enough to get anyone started on the right path.
Will we have another? Of course, and it will get better with each year until we reach a point where the teenagers of the family might actually want to be there. By the way, you might want to set up an area where teens and their cell phones can go and text each other. . . . . so they can get acquainted!
And thinking of cell phones. This was the first thing I have been to in a long, long, time where everyone didn't have their cell phones in their hands. We were too busy catching up with what's been going on. Well, except for the teenagers. I suppose there is a post somewhere about what to do with teenagers at a reunion. Or should they even be invited. They'll get the idea some day.
